Turkish Wedding Traditions, and the Words You'll Hear
From asking for the bride's hand to the henna night and pinning gold, the customs of a Turkish wedding explained by a native speaker, with key Turkish words.
A traditional Turkish wedding is really a series of events: the family visit to ask for the bride's hand, the promise, the engagement, the henna night and the wedding itself. Customs vary a lot by region and family, and many couples today keep only some of them. Here's what you're most likely to see, and the Turkish words that go with it.
FluenTech's founder is a native Turkish speaker, but this is a general guide. No two families do it exactly the same way.
Asking for the bride's hand: kız isteme
The groom's family visits the bride's family to formally ask for their blessing. The bride usually serves Turkish coffee, and in a much-loved tradition, she may put salt in the groom's cup. He's expected to drink it without complaint, and everyone enjoys watching.
The elder of the groom's family then says a well-known line: Allah'ın emri, Peygamberin kavliyle kızınızı oğlumuza istiyoruz. It means they're asking for the daughter's hand "by God's command and the Prophet's word".
The promise and the engagement: söz and nişan
At the söz (promise), the families agree and the couple often receive rings joined by a red ribbon. An elder cuts the ribbon. The nişan (engagement) is usually a bigger party, with more guests and more food.
The henna night: kına gecesi
Often held the night before the wedding, this is traditionally the women's evening. The bride wears a red dress and a red veil, and her friends circle her with candles while singing songs that make everyone cry. Henna is placed on her palm, and a gold coin is often pressed into it. She may keep her hand closed until the groom's side offers a gift.
The wedding day: düğün
Gelin alma. The groom and his family come to collect the bride, often in a convoy of honking cars. Drums and the zurna, a loud folk reed instrument, may lead the way, especially in smaller towns.
Takı töreni. This is the moment visitors find most striking. Guests line up to pin gold coins, jewellery or money on the couple, usually onto ribbons worn over their clothes. Someone may even announce what each guest gives.
Dancing. Expect halay, a line dance that gets larger as the night goes on.
Words worth knowing
| Turkish | English |
|---|---|
| gelin | bride |
| damat | groom |
| düğün | wedding |
| nişan | engagement |
| kına | henna |
| altın | gold |
| takı | jewellery |
| davul | drum |
What to say
- Mutluluklar! Wishing you happiness.
- Allah mesut etsin. May God make you happy.
- Bir yastıkta kocayın. Literally, "may you grow old on one pillow." It's the classic wedding wish.
If you're invited as a guest, gold or money is the usual gift, but a smaller gift from a foreign guest will be warmly received. Dress as you would for a formal party.
Keep going
For more everyday culture, read about Turkish traditions. To start on the language, try our free Turkish word lists with audio and grammar lessons.
Our Learn Turkish app takes you from your first words through graded reading to Turkish literature. It's free to download, though some books and extra content need diamonds you earn while learning, or Premium.